#188 Why You’re Afraid of Being Judged: How Shame Keeps Us in Line

Have you ever stopped yourself from posting something, trying something, dancing a certain way or speaking up because you imagined people laughing? Maybe nobody has even laughed at you. Maybe you’ve just watched what happens when someone else becomes the joke. That’s what this episode is about. I’m exploring what I call humiliation rituals: those moments where ridicule, embarrassment or shame teaches a group what happens when someone steps outside the acceptable line. We’ll talk about why fear of judgment makes sense, how insecurity can become profitable, the responsibility I think teachers have when correcting people, and why there’s a massive difference between teaching someone a skill and teaching them to be embarrassed that they don’t have it yet. And perhaps most importantly: what can we do when someone else becomes the joke? Because telling people to “just stop caring what anyone thinks” only addresses half the problem. Maybe we also need to look at the rooms we’re creating together.